Heartbreak, something I’m pretty sure we’ve all dealt with at one point in our lives. It can also be one of the most devastating things to go through. I got my heart broken right before I met my fiance and though it was difficult I got through it. I get asked for advice pretty often about love and relationships and even though I am not a counselor I’ve been told that my advice is very helpful. I like to believe that it is because I don’t speak from a place of “I know it all”. My advice is always rooted in wanting the person to be grounded in self-care and personal awareness. Something I get asked a lot about is how to move on after a break up.
So I made a list of 5 things you can do that will help you move past a break up:
You gotta be right with yourself
“You gotta be right with yourself before you can be right with anyone else”. That is a quote from August Wilson’s Gem of the Ocean said by the character Black Mary. It was one of my favorite lines to say when I was in that play many years ago and I still say it every now and then. I love this quote because it is simple and vast at the same time. Being right with yourself can mean many different things depending on who you are and what you need. Whether it’s reading your bible more and growing closer to God, practicing self-care or loving on yourself more, learning how to be right with yourself is something everyone should try to do--for them.
Allow God to guide you
There’s nothing we can do without God. Not one thing. Heartbreak can leave you uncertain and confused so allowing God to take over and guide your steps is the best thing that you could do. Journaling to God was a life saver for me-- it allowed me to get out every single thought and concern I had. God is always there to heal your mind, body, heart and soul. You can get through any and everything once you cast your worldly cares on him. Trust me.
Don’t be afraid to feel your emotions
I’ve noticed that a lot of people think the strongest thing to do in a time like this is to not feel any emotions. I personally think that’s the worst thing you could do for yourself. Your emotions are a real thing and they are valid. Do not dismiss them because you think that makes you heal faster. Acknowledge them and feel them because by doing so you’ll gain a better understanding of your emotions, where they stem from and most importantly, yourself.
Know that you are worthy of love
Sometimes we blame ourselves for what went wrong in our past relationships. Thinking that we are unloveable and that we might’ve deserved what happened to us. That is far from the truth. Give yourself grace and understand that you are still learning and whatever went wrong in the last relationship does not mean you aren’t worthy of love and respect. Never forget respect.
It’s all a lesson
With every relationship that didn’t work out you are learning something that will help to make your next relationship a better experience for both you and your partner. I know that’s exactly what happened to me. Because of what I learnt in my past relationships, moving forward I was able to pinpoint from the jump exactly what I would and wouldn’t put up with.
There’s no one way to get past a break up. Some of these may work for you and some of them may not but what’s important is that you are taking the necessary, HEALTHY steps to move forward.
I wish you all the best in everything that you are doing and I pray that the love you walk into is healthy, God sent and a beautiful adventure.
For more on the topic of love, click here.
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