For more than half of our relationship, so far, My boyfriend and I were basically long distance because I went to college four hours away from our home state, NY. When I was away at school all I wanted to do was run back home, to NY, and be with him. When I did go back to NY we spent almost every single minute together...up until the very last second when I had to get back on that megabus and head to DC. I couldn’t wait to graduate to
1. Be DONE with school chile, whew, senioritis was REAL and
2. Be able to be with my maaaan. I mean honestly have ya’ll seen him?
The man is fine. But when I prayed to God to be able to be with my man all the time? Quarantine was not what I meant. We serve a comedic God. el oh el.
But truly, I’m grateful for this experience because we plan on getting married one day and I’m one of those people who think it’s very beneficial to live with your partner before getting married so you can see how they are at home, y’know? That arrangement isn’t for everyone but it works for me. Who we are a few hours out of the day is only a SNIPPET of who we truly are at home. So you can only imagine what it’s been like living with my man 24/7 for the past 3 months. It’s been a whole other adventure and we’ve both been talking about how much we’ve been learning about each other so far. Things we agree with, things we don’t agree with and how we can work together for the betterment of our relationship. And to be completely honest, I’m so happy we’re getting this stuff out of the way before a wedding.
So anyways, here’s how this millennial couple survives being quarantined together.
1. Respecting Boundaries:
Honey, this has been one of the most important things for us (you’re probably going to see me write that a lot *sent with invisible ink*) Ty, my man, and I are both working from home during this time so with that we need our space to get work done. Even outside of work...we still need our space. How does one create space in a one bedroom apartment you ask? Well, luckily for us, we’re in a very spacious apartment annnnd we have a few unwritten boundaries that happened while observing each other's patterns. Being together 24/7 doesn’t mean you have to be around each other 24/7, you follow me? There are moments in the day when he’ll head to the bedroom and I’ll be out in the living room and vice versa. I don’t trail behind him, nor him me, because we respect the boundary. We understand that, that person is going to get some alone, chill time. Sometimes people need to be alone with no interruption and it’s important to respect that boundary. We honor each other’s boundaries and that creates a very peaceful environment.
2. Communication/ Mental Health Check ins:
I think I’ve talked about communication before but, alas, here I am again. Communication during this time...wait for it...this has been one of the most important things for us. Told you I was going to use it again ;) No, but seriously. Each day we learn something new about each other and just because we love each other doesn't mean there aren't things we can't still learn about each other. That’s where communicating comes in very handy my friend. We have a practice of not letting things go unsaid between us so even if it’s 30 minutes or an hour later we will sit and talk about what happened, what we didn’t understand and hop we can move past it. We also have “mental health check ins”. This normally happens with me laying on his chest, no distractions around, and we simply ask each other how we’re doing mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. So I guess, more than just a mental health check in huh? However you want to label it, it’s effective and always makes me smile.
3. Prayer:
Speaking of “spiritually” we also pray for and with each other. Ugh, have you ever overheard your partner praying for you? Whew, one of the most beautiful sounds to hear. Prayer has always been our go to during the good, the bad and the confusing so of course that’s STILL our go to during a quarantine. We always ask God to be the head of our relationship and now more than ever we feel Him keeping us rooted in HIm.
4. Date Nights!
Can you tell that this is one of my favorite ones? Cause it is hehe. Just because we can’t go outside to our favorite jazz spot or visit a new art exhibit doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy some at home date nights. Our favorite thing to do has been ordering food from a small business in our neighborhood (#SupportSmallBusinesses) and pairing it with a good TV show or movie and voilà dinner and a movie! It’s such a simple thing to do but very effective in making quarantine a little less quarantin-ish.
5. Daily Walks/ Bike Rides:
If I had to actually stay in the house and NEVER come out I would've lost my mind. I look forward to our daily walks/bike rides especially now that the weather is becoming more sandal and short shorts friendly. Equipped with our masks, gloves and hand sanitizer these moments make the days go by faster and they also serve as prime "chit chat about all the things we have done and will to do" time. Whether the sun is shining or the moon is high in the sky, fresh air is always something we look forward to.
Check out my vlog about surviving quarantine with him, below!
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